team 5’5 and under where ya at
they didn’t let us in they thought we were 12
me: 31. July 31 is Harry Potter's birthday.
roommate: . . .
me: . . .
roommate: That was immediate.
me: It's a useful reference point!
hey canadians have fun at school tomorrow
hey americans have fun paying your health care
stop guys we’re friends remember
Children, behave else mother shall have to give the pair of you a bollocking.
You couldn’t beat 13 states, let alone 50.
what’s going on over here?
I just choked
tumblr country wars are the best
my problem with writing stories is that i’d rather imagine it and play it out in my mind than actually put it into words
There’s a very drunk man down my street who has been flirting with a tree for twenty minutes now.
He’s on his knees now. I think he’s proposing.
Drunk man currently walking away from the tree, shouting “YOU’RE ALL THE SAME”.